In May, 2012, I published my first book, Trailing: A Memoir.

I is in bold, because I did it myself.

After working on the manuscript for two years, I spent another six months waiting on tenterhooks for word from my then-agent, who was busy pitching the book to seven of the major publishing houses in New York City. One by one the editors at these houses rejected Trailing, claiming that although they loved the story, since I was an unknown author with a story that was not quite “universal” enough, they would pass on making an offer. Dutifully, my agent forwarded each one of these “positive rejections,” and as he sent the seventh and final one, kissed me goodbye, saying that if these editors wouldn’t invest in Trailing, no one would.

Dejected and weary, I shoved my manuscript in a drawer, turned the key in the lock, and tried to forget about it.

I really did try.

But I couldn’t.

Trailing was my baby, that I had fed and nurtured and loved to maturity. How could I just leave it locked in a drawer, alone?

It was not an overnight epiphany that led me to self-publish. Rather, my decision was informed by a series of transformative events that are detailed in my second book, Five Flights Up, which I also decided to self-publish…because my experience publishing Trailing was nothing short of exhilarating.  Both books have sold steadily since release, are well-reviewed, and I have travelled in Europe and the United States to give readings, and speak to readers and writers about my work.

As it turns out, the decision to act, to dare to launch myself, gave me a buzz that just doesn’t go away.

There’s a name for this buzz: Self-actualization.

The American psychologist Abraham Maslow was the one to really popularize the notion of the self-actualized life, which simply put, refers to a person’s motivation to reach their full potential.

Now this may sound very simple, but how many of us have ever dreamed of achieving a certain goal – a goal based on what we are certain is all about our full potential – only to find that our way is blocked by obstacles? Like me with my manuscript, staring down the No, No, No’s from New York’s publishing industry. When I finally realized I didn’t need their permission – hey, this is the 2000’s, I can just do it myself! – a whole new chapter (no pun intended) was written.

In writing, as in life, I have learned that if you believe in your story (whatever the story is or what form it takes), see it through to the end. Don’t ever let other people tell you whether your story gets to exist. Don’t give up. Try! Find solutions! Take risks! Dare! We are given one life – and we never know when it may end – and so why not just go for it?  Giving my books life is one of the best decisions I have ever made.